Greetings friends and folk. Need a way to stop yourself from drinking that dirty brown fermented bread water? Well wait no longer, as my Patent Pending, Alcoholic’s Chasity Belt is here for sale!

Finally, indulge yourself in the best formula-approved way to stop yourself from drinking that beer. Every time you touch that can, you’ll hear the sweet susurrations from the Simpson’s very own, Barney Gumble, and maybe this time you’ll lay off the booze!